i'm so bored... haven't eaten anything for the whole day except 2 旺旺. no appetite. haha. i'm skipping my medicine. don't wanna get better. still listening to the same song. haha. i've been thinking a lot today, of whether i can survive without you, of whether i should move on... cause something tells me that we're just going to drift further and further away... (i don't want that to happen, but i can't really help it, can i?) i've been thinking... if i didn't sms you for a couple of days... would you miss me? and would i be able to kick this habit of smsing you daily? because i feel insecure when i don't message you daily... i don't know why, but i feel uncomfortable. maybe it's some autistic thing, like you're my security blanket... someone who makes me feel safe... but if that's the case, it would be hard to let go... and i know i shouldn't blame autism... so yeah, i don't know what to do. maybe i'm just unwilling to let go. i've known you since i was P6... and now we're in secondary school. i know i'm hurting myself by not letting go, but perhaps it's retribution, yeahs? i can't help but get jealous. i'm a thinking person. i think too much for my own good. i remember that he said he would get jealous too, if we got together... so maybe it's normal to be jealous. but i hate it... okay, time to stop posting, or i'll be late for tennis. bye peeps. 

Labels: really boring reflection that no one would read because it doesn't concern them.